Success and Shenanigans: The Former Wild, Unfiltered Life of David Zobell with Possible hope for New Beginnings, According to His Best Friend Bucky

Pull up a chair, kick off your boots, and let me spin y’all a yarn about a fella whose life’s been wilder than a longhorn stampede at a fireworks show. Name’s Bucky, and I’ve been tasked by my good friend, partner in mischief and barbecue, David Zobell, to write out the saga of his life. Now, I ain’t one for fancy words, but Dave’s the kind of legend you can’t keep silent about—even if he wishes you would.
Now, before you go judgin’ ol’ Dave, you gotta know: this ain’t no ordinary story of sunshine and parades. Nope, it’s more of a cautionary tale, comic relief, and a cowboy mystery novel all tangled up together like a tumbleweed in a tornado. Dave asked me to do this ‘cause his coach and mentor, Phil Johansen’ – or as we affectionately call him, the Swami of Swing – swears up and down ‘that sharing your story’ is the finest fertilizer there is to grow a brand-new online business. I reckon, if spilling your guts worked for him, it might just work for Dave and his new venture, SUCCESS with ZOBELL n' JOHANSEN. 

Let me put it plain: Dave Zobell’s luck is so bad, he couldn’t catch a break if it was duct-taped to a free beer. The man’s seen more disaster zones than a FEMA agent on overtime. He’s the only person I know who can start the day headin’ for paradise and wind up lost in the ninth circle of you-know-what by lunchtime.

It all goes back to high school, the time most folks remember as the glory days. Not Dave. His folks tangoed with tragedy in a car wreck, and his old man, once a right-handed legend of gridirons and gym floors (a major jock, if you will), got hit in the head so hard he turned into a part-time jock and full-time grump. Losing use of your right side’ll do that though (which is exactly what happened to him because of a head injury), especially when you’ve been slam-dunking in basketball and body-slamming in football your whole life like Dave's old Man. But suddenly, whatever the case may have been, Papa Zobell was trading trophies for trouble and passing that storm cloud right on down to the rest of the family.

For the next fifteen years, it rained misfortune like a busted-up water tower. Dave, bless his misdirected heart, gravitated to a band of knuckleheads, sampling everything a good boy ain’t supposed to touch. Booze, reefer, you name it—Dave did it twice. The local judges knew him by name, not reputation, and pretty soon he landed in a place called Rivendell. Sounds magical, don’t it? Tolkien’s elves coulda run this joint, only instead of enchanted forests, you got chain-link fences and counselors hollerin’ till they’re blue in the face (it was a youth detention center called of all things Rivendell, that name, let alone having to be court ordered to go there, caused Dave much embarrassment from his sophomore year on; and anyone who brought it up caught hell fire and tarnation from Dave, I’ll tell you. Bucky snickers).

Funny thing, though—Rivendell turned out to be more of a spirit quest than a detention center. Dave spent three months getting hollered at, learning how not to let life knock out all his teeth. The lessons he was taught there, he took with him long after. For years he was ashamed, but now he’ll tell you that pit stop might’ve been, just like it was to for the Hobbits in Tolkien’s stories, what saved his hide.

Amazingly, in between raising hell and dodging authority, Dave limped across the finish line at Box Elder High and snagged himself a diploma. Then, outta nowhere, like an angel climbed down and whopped him upside the head, Dave found religion. Quit his habits, suited up, and started preaching the Good Word down in San Antonio, Texas. Yes believe it or not Dave actually went on a LDS Mission for 2 years for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. If God ever saw a stranger transformation, he ain’t told me about it. The experiences he had there in Texas, he’ll admit time and again were of great sentimental value to him, and also played an amazing factor in saving his hide all throughout his life.

But life, like an ornery bronco, don’t stay calm for long. About the time Dave had things lookin’ up—a decent job, head held high—the economy belly-flopped. He lost his work, burned through his savings, and ended up back at square one, health going south and pride tuckered out. Eventually, the bottle came calling again, and Dave said yes. Only this time, it stuck like cow patties in August, for a long miserable time.

The next chapter reads rougher than a cactus sandwich: DUI’s, jail cells, a string of one-way tickets to nowhere, and finally—a five-year stint in the big house. I told him a time or two, “Dave, there ain’t no prize at the bottom of this bottle.” But you know how stubborn a Texas steer can be. On top of all that, some quack doc put him on Ambien, because of anxiety and the inability to sleep—right when they shoulda known better. You see, they were taking Ambien of the shelves during that time because people were blacking out who used it, taking strolls down Park Avenue in their sleep or totally blacked during chores in the day-time – literally blacking out and sleep-walking if they took to much, as it were. Using alcohol like Dave did was an even bigger no-no because it caused the same effect to a greater extent with people. But Dave never read the labels on that, nor did he ever tell the Doctor about his drinking habits, he just wanted a good night’s sleep, you see, or rather sleep-walk as it turned out—and next thing, Dave started waking up places he didn’t recognize, with stories so wild not even his cellmates believed him. Bucky snickers. I just got to laugh, Daves luck is just beyond me sometimes.

Now, I can’t tell ya the details on them prison charges ‘cause Dave gets twitchier than a rabbit in a hawk’s shadow whenever they come up.’ Let’s just say, blame the combo platter of booze and Ambien, and leave it at that. He hasn’t touched a drop in over a decade, and that’s a fact. Turns out all those years behind bars, as rough as they were, helped him get clear. He sobered up, made a pact with himself for good, and came out more solid than a fence post in granite.

Problem is, the world don’t forgive and forget very easy. With a record like his, even the friendliest places won’t hire him to mop floors. That’s where Phil—bless his entrepreneurial soul—stepped in, showing Dave that sometimes you gotta make your own road when the map runs out. Affiliate marketing, online business, building something from the ashes—now, that’s a story worth hearing.

So here we are, friends. Dave’s busted up, beaten down, but still standing taller than a beanpole in May. Him and Phil, well, what you see is what you get: honest, loyal, and tougher than gristle steak. All he’s asking for these days is a fighting chance. Hear him out, give him a go, and you’ll find there’s gold in them hills—if you don’t mind a little dirt on your boots first.

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Hello folks, this is David Zobell himself. I hope you enjoyed Buck-Snort (my good friend Bucky the Bull-legged Texan’s) humor and gifted story-telling ability, he has managed to do something I found impossible. Despite my efforts to write this story on my own, I found the subject matter very sad and depressing, often moved to tears because it is me that is the star of this melodrama, all of which made it very difficult for me to add the necessary humor to balance its somber themes. I truly appreciate Bucky’s ability to successfully integrate levity into such a poignant narrative.

When Phil Johansen assigned us students this writing task, I was initially reluctant to participate due to the difficulties I have faced in my personal life. However, upon reflection, I considered Phil's own journey; despite facing significant challenges, he transformed his circumstances, progressing from a plumber burdened by $20,000 in debt to a millionaire earning $27 million annually in just three years. His accomplishments inspired me and made me believe that SUCCESS might also be possible for me, especially when other options seemed unattainable. This being said, I became sure he knew what he was talking about when he tells us he knows “Secrets to Success” and specifically asks each of his students to be sure and write a Auto-Biography for the public to read. At first, I found it difficult to contemplate sharing my story, because if I wrote it myself, it would most definitely make my readers want to commit suicide, from sadness and melancholy. So I just arranged and jotted down a bunch of my thoughts and took them to the only friend I seem to have these days, my AI Assistant on Chat GPT, good ol' Buck-Snort (Bucky the Texas Cowboy), and he literally pieced it all together and wrote it. I must say I’m extremely impressed, he did a fantastic job. That's all you really have to do, if you happen to struggle, as I do, with a writing assignment like this, I highly recommend utilizing AI tools such as ChatGPT, Claude, or Grok for support.

I hope you found the information above useful; unfortunately everything shared by good ol’ Bucky is accurate, all of that was me In Living Color I’m afraid. I acknowledge that my past choices were not always the best, and I definitely had to face the consequences as a result. However, I am committed to embracing my circumstances and making the most of them moving forward I fully intend to “take the Bull by the Horns” as my parents used to say and Move Forward doing better from now on. While I wish my story could be more uplifting, I have presented it as honestly as possible. I hope and trust you will not judge me based on my past; I am simply someone striving to build an honest life despite the challenges I continue to encounter.

 

I chose to partner with Phil because he was the one I had most in common with and we share many values and interests, in addition to fulfilling his commitments. His assurances are genuine, and he delivers on his promises, which definitely distinguishes him from others in the field. Phil has always acted with integrity, never attempting to take advantage of me, and he provides comprehensive information both through his training videos and in person whenever you need his help. I can see why he is so SUCCESSFUL and that's the reason I chose to call my business “SUCCESS with ZOBELL n’ JOHANSEN,” or something to that effect, I’ve had to change it several times, because certain networks seem to have all kinds of problems with me, I don’t know whether it’s my past or what? Yet whatever the case may be, for me with Phil, the basis of all his lore always has something to do with “SUCCESS,” “SUCCESSFULLNESS,” and “ACHIEVEMENTS” all of which have caused him to become quite Wealthy. He is undoubtedly one of the most “SUCCESSFUL” individuals I have encountered thus far, who has consistently demonstrated honesty and integrity throughout his career. He is reported to have set a new record for achieving millionaire status more rapidly than anyone previous, I am told. It can be inferred that this is why he refers to those who continue to support him as his “High Achievers,” possibly following the grand example of himself as “the High Achiever.” Phil is undoubtedly among the most accomplished professionals I have encountered, and his network, aptly called the “High Achievers Network,” reflects this reputation. It his my hope the obtain, even a portion of the SUCCESS he has Achieved, though challenges persist about accepting me or my businesses among Social Networks and other unforgiving individuals, which makes collaborative relationships difficult to obtain. In spite of my most earnest efforts. Nevertheless, I sincerely hope that my past errors may be understood and set aside forevermore, cause I know I won’t go back to any of it, not after all I’ve been through. I also desire to demonstrate the same steadfast dedication to people that has been exemplified by Phil Johansen—consistently approachable, eager to assist others, and committed to fostering positive developments. Regardless of the circumstances, I assure you that, like Phil Johansen, I will provide unwavering support to anyone interested in my business throughout our collaborations, if I am ever granted the opportunity.

 

To all you Former Misfits and Anyone Else seeking SUCCESS at something but are uncertain of a way forward: There is a solution available, and I am prepared to assist you in finding it, just as Phil Johansen has done for many individuals. All you need to do is select one of two buttons at (successwithzobell.net) -although this blog was originally written for my other website SUCCESS with ZOBELL & JOHANSEN, it can also apply to DAVE'S FITNESS ESSENTIALS (DavesFitnessEssentials.com), as well as my other two websites ZOBELLTECH (zobelltech.com) and ZOBELL'S HEALTH & WELLNESS (zobellhealthandwellness.com). All you need to do is contact me about your desire to take the challenge, complete the necessary forms, and follow the provided instructions to enroll, and I can help you. I assure you that, regardless of my previous mistakes, I am committed to supporting you throughout your journey because I believe everyone deserves an opportunity to SUCCEED, just as Phil Johansen has, and many of his affiliates have.